never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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