Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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