Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
