you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize