About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
