I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize