You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
