90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
