his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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