Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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