Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
