my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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