yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
