The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You ruined the universe
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
