What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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