At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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