ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
