Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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