i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
third nipple confirmed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
