The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
