i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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