i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize