u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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