I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm having to shit out rocks
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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