She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
