I hate all girls vehemently.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
