No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
