i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
