i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
