Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
