You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
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Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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