By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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