So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
