I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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