Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
