There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize