im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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