That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You've changed since you got that strap on
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
