Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize