it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your cock deserves a montage
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
