New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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