Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize