I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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