Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it because I queefed?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
