living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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