haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
