There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
tell me about the eggs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
