Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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