Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
