that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
