Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
