Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
