I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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