She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
