I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
