Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
