I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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