Quick, to the slutcave!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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