Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
