May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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