arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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