If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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